(Children seem to only remember what they want, like selective hearing.)
I know that you might not remember many things about the way you grew up, so I will fill in some of the blanks.
I hope that you can put some of it to use and laugh at others.
There will always be good times in any of your lives that you will remember Best and will stand out in your mind. I have not actually taken the time to ask you to write them down and that will always be a regret on my part.
I once told your Dad that I think the things that matters most is the Times spent together or on Holidays. (which rarely happened in this family)
For me the best times was the Times you crawled into my lap even when you were teenagers and fell asleep there. just being my babies again.
Asking me to cook up a stew or make Olliebuns (Vetkoek) and then invite some school friends over and we would sit around the Table and tell jokes and laugh until we cried. I would listen to you all with all your stories and plans for your Future. Helping out with Homework and then waiting for you to bring home “My” marks. I best remember the time I had to help with a history project and the teacher giving you 99% and a note attached that said. Well done Mrs …….
Tracey-Leigh, when you were about 3 years old you went into my very new best friends house and stole her brand new Blood Red Lipstick and chewed it. When you realised it was not edible you smeared it everywhere and I mean every where. Clothes, Mirror, Table, Floor, Carpets, Face, Hands and the entire Washbasin and cloth. My friend was livid. I took you and started spanking you, but a hand grabbed mine and told me a truth that still reverberates through my mind:
God gave You hands to stroke your child, not Strike your child with. (Steve Stephenson)
Well I finally gave her that lipstick back on her 50th Birthday last year. That was the only time the two of us had ever ever had bad words. She is still very dear to me to this day.
On the Day of the 9/11 attacks I remember exactly where I was and my first thoughts was with the people fighting for their lives. I picked you up from school and a bunch of your friends from the neighbourhood came over and we sat staring at the Tv Screen in absolute horror. we discussed what we were watching and what it could mean for the world. One of you asked if this meant a war or the end of the world. The conversation was serious and sad at the same time until Melissa cried out: “ If it’s the end of the world, I am going to die a virgin!” well my darling Melissa, the world did not end and Life went on, you have not died a virgin, you became a Mommy to a beautiful boy who absolutely adores you.
Our House has always had an open door policy. If you needed somewhere to be other than Home, just walk in. Come over, visit, sleep over, as long as your parents knew where you were.
School Events Always started from this address. There was always a gathering of boys and girls who had to get dressed, Shower, wait, Have their hair or Make-up done or sleep over. On one such occasion I remember that I was supposed to have 4 girls sleeping over, but when the door opened there were 5. One of these girls did not look Kosher and it was soon revealed that it was a BOY. He even had a girly name: Kelly! had not heard so much laughter come out of your room in a long time. Had to shut you up a few times and even joined in on the fun at some point. He was the youngest and the smallest of you all and there was not much space in the room so he jumped in between two of you girls on one of the beds. ( For the sake of readers: they were all fully clothed and still way to young to have funny ideas ) The chatter and laughter went on until way into the night and as soon as all was asleep i went in and took pictures of you all. Kelly became the envy of the boys at school for “Sleeping with 5 girls”
There were times that finances were almost non existent and then the Mommy can make a plan Menu’s came out. I could never let my kids know that food was scarce and there might not be enough but I stretched what I had by adding more water to make it look like a saucy stew, cutting the meat bits till it almost resembled mince. Rice was a big Saviour in this Household and many leftovers became Rice Stir-fry. having flour or potatoes in the house could feed a party.
I remember a Saturday Morning when I had 4 eggs a frozen bread and a tin of creamed corn in the house and was just about to use those eggs for breakfast to feed the Family when my sister in law walked through the door with her daughter and two Truckers in Tow. The one truck had broken down and they came round to clean up and refresh after fixing it. I turned what I had into a massive big Omelette and toasted the bread, stuck all the bits and Bobs from the fridge on the table and we had a feast. After they left and I started to clear the Table some one had left a “tip” under their plate.
I have used 1 Carrot and an onion with some Herbs and Spices to boil up a delicious soup and made little dumpling Balls to make it filling. Dry Beans that I used about 6 times for blind baking Pie Bases took hours to cook, but they got used and it filled an empty stomach. When you are a mom you will find a way. make a way and make sure your children don’t go to bed hungry.
Lesson: Don’t ever think that you don’t have enough. Use what you have and it will always be appreciated when offered with Love.
On a note of more fruit bearing times: We made the best Pies, Cakes, and tried out many biscuit Recipes and Rusks.
I started putting together my own tried and tested Recipes since I was about nineteen and the first book I finished became sort of my Kitchen Bible, then I got the idea to put a name in the front of the beat up but looked after Book. It read: To my Daughter… so you will always find a way to your Man’s heart. That was my wedding Gift to you. I have 2 more to Go. I am passing on my Recipes for Food, Love, Relationships and have added a handwritten note to each after the Recipe was tested. I hope that you use them often.
When your puppy got hold of your Kitchen Bible and ripped a few pages to shreds you were devastated, but painstakingly pieced them together and then photocopied and glued the pages back in. Those are the little things that make for marvellous memories.
The Moments that make Memories
Taking you to the beach was always a painful reminder of your brother, but I went and sat with you. I did not enjoy being on the beach and seeing kids and babies run around without their parents being aware and alert of what they were doing or where their kids were. I gave you repetitive warnings all the way to the beach to always keep in a direct line to me and make constant eye contact. a few hand signals were all that was needed to keep you in line or let you know that it was time to get out of the water. I became a self appointed Life Saver for the Upper Class Mothers who had Nannies and Babysitters all year round and then having to cope with their own brats on Holidays. They were more concerned with their tanning and over Glitzed up and over priced and over compensated fashion Statement Costumes and Zumba Class Work out Bodies than giving a crap about their children. I often wondered if they wore those big Sunglasses to protect their eyes from the Rays of the Sun or to use it as a mask to let their eyes wander over the Bodies of the men on the Beach. Dear Daddy is most probably off on some Golf Tournament or Chartered Fishing expedition.
Shopping: Now that was fun. I did not Tolerate Tantrums and dealt with them swiftly. You either shopped with me and behaved or you are left at home. Good behaviour in the shops were always rewarded with a trip to the local coffee joint and you would get a Milkshake. I never asked you to choose I gave you a Choice, Vanilla or Chocolate. It was always Chocolate. Vanilla was just too old school. Anything with a bit of flavour and colour would do the trick.
You made me happy when you were happy.
There are thousands more Marvellous Memories and I will scribble them here as they come to me.
PS: I Love You!!
For my Daughters 