so I got booked into The Neuro Clinic for observation, evaluation and preparation for removal of a meningioma, I am to understand how it will affect me and what I can expect to happen to me and my body afterwards.
Yesterday the 26th of November I was sent for a minor procedure that would take all of 20 minutes in theatre. A Dr Nel performed the nasty task of cleaning out my entire bowel system and taking off a few hemorrhoid’s that had appeared over the years and caused me some discomfort and even some embarrassment. I can only think how embarrassing it must be to be scratching around in someone else’s asshole to cut off little blood vessels at close range. Thankfully I was asleep so would never know. Anyone who chooses a profession such as this deserves a medal. it’s a real shitty one.
Years ago I saw my father directly after he had his procedure and the image unfortunately stuck in my mind. Graphically. To say I was slightly nervous could be an understatement and the first thing I did after waking up was to run my hand over my backside. Oh …. Nothing. Did I miss it? Did they not do the operation? There was no pain whatsoever. I could immediately sit up and on my backside. I remembered the doctor coming past me in his scrubs and mentioning he found two larger blobs on the inside lining and had cauterized them. The rest he tied off with tiny elastic bands that would fall off by themselves later.
I was transported back to the clinic and felt great. Had some coffee, had a croissant and later even ventured outside for a smoke in the garden. All good. Came to my room, tried to just lie down and take it easy. an hour or so later a bunch of us all went back outside and as I sat on the bench I felt a wave of dizziness spread over me. I was so scared that I would black out in front of the people around me that I asked them to lay me down on the grass. Next thing I know there is a humungous man standing in front of me with a wheelchair. Off to bed. For te life of me I could not fall asleep and have been awake since. It is now 5.58am on Friday morning 27th November and I have had 1 hours sleep. I thought anesthetics are supposed to make you sleep but seems it can also wake you up and keep you up.
Well so another day has broken. I sat outside at 5 am listening to the birds, watching the sun come up over the Outeniqua mountains and stare at a teeny tiny flower head open from it’s slumber.
Sometimes even when your days starts off with a lot of SHIT in your head it still does not leave you with emptiness. There is life, we have life and we have LOVE.
PS: I love you.
For my Daughters 